ABUSE?

And what is the ARC's reaction? I am still waiting. I identified on Sunday night that there may be physical intimidation by one resident towards Matthew....very specifically regarding his private parts. Staff said an investigation would ensue.

I saw psychiatrist today to discuss but group home manager called in sick so we couldn't discuss with her. Matt described briefly the same scenario - of resident grabbing his nuts.

Doc wants to meet with ARC and find out just what will be done to address this.

Family not helping me. I can't do this alone.

HATS, BRACELETS, WHAT NEXT?

Staff doesn't tell me anything - then manager says she calls me

I don't get messages so how can I resolve things?

NOW THE ASST MGR IS FIRED FOR RAISING ISSUE ABOUT STAFF?

Of course the ARC denies this is the reason

but staff member filed several reports about verbal abuse. Is there a trend here????

cry for help

I'm not sure what to do
13 messages

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to all	Fri, Mar 18, 2011 at 9:07 PM
I have spoken to Matt the last three nights to make sure he is okay. Tonight there was a lot of yelling. Matt wasn't really paying attention to what I was saying - I think he was watching this "crisis". I asked several times "are you okay?" and he said he was. But how often does this happen???? Is he frightened? I know he hates yelling. Is he stressed? How many yelling episodes before Matt possibly flips again?

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	Fri, Mar 18, 2011 at 9:41 PM
Maybe we should stop by more often. Dave

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	Sat, Mar 19, 2011 at 7:02 AM
Without prior notice and without intentions to take matt out. Just drop in and give matt a hug Sent from my iPhone [Quoted text hidden]

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	Sat, Mar 19, 2011 at 7:10 AM

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	Sat, Mar 19, 2011 at 11:25 AM

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	Sun, Mar 20, 2011 at 1:38 PM
You can't protect him 24/7 and you certainly don't want to create animosity towards Matt by ratting somebody out. I know it's a tough call, but he probably tunes most of it out.

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	Sun, Mar 20, 2011 at 3:31 PM
I don't necessarily agree. I think some of matt's problem is the noise and stress at work and home. If we drop by unannounced at different times of the day, we get to witness behaviors. Doesn't take but a minute to drop in. I did it yesterday. If anything untoward is happening then we are matt's advocates and should protect him in the meantime I am working to find some alternative places for him to go during the week, even for a couple of hours. I hope everyone is thinking about this and not just assuming that Matt will survive unaided. Aunt Sue mentioned a time when Matt threw Uncle Jim's hat out the window. He is compulsive, yes. Yesterday Matt stole a pop tart at the group home. If we are in touch and in tune we can address issues immediately - not a week later. I spoke Dr, Prasuna about a therapist. I think a psychiatrist is only good for 15 min and a prescription. Red Bank Therapists http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/state/NJ/Red+Bank.html just think about it - 12 feet! http://www.thesurvivorsclub.org/extreme/surviving-accidents/queensland-australia-crocodile-attack-survivor [Quoted text hidden]

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	Sun, Mar 20, 2011 at 3:50 PM
Dr. Lipton- he's the first on the list- I liked him very much

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	Sun, Mar 20, 2011 at 3:56 PM
would you be comfortable calling him? I am going to try to setup the appt for next Tuesday for Dad. I will ask Jack and Dave to attend that. (Robert seems to be absent from this whole family support thing) [Quoted text hidden]

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	Sun, Mar 20, 2011 at 4:19 PM
I doubt he would remember me. IWhat would be teh purpose of teh call- jsut ti find ou if he would see matthew?

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	Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 9:49 AM
and this was supposed to go to you...... oh my God, i can't believe how bad my typing is getting. Anyway, did you want me to call to see if he is taking on new patients- do you want me to actually make the appt.? let me know. [Quoted text hidden]

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	Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 10:21 AM
yes - see if he is taking new patients and if he would consider a Down's Syndrome adult. I will call to make appt - thx lets celebrate birthdays a week from Saturday. No point in this sat since I work and you work sunday. [Quoted text hidden]

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	Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 10:44 AM

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disrespecting staff

antagonizing his peers. Wazzup with my pal????

THE AMAZING MATTHEW

I know - it may only be amazing to me. But the man continues to touch my heart.

I used a word he didn't know. Can't remember now what it was. But he thought for a moment then asked me what the word meant. He repeated it and wanted to know the definition. He didn't just ignore me. He tried to comprehend a new word to add to his listening vocabulary.

We were having a particularly trying day with Dad. Trying to get him dressed and he kept lying back down on the bed. Finally Matt looked at me and said "he's a basket case". I felt sad but also tried not to laugh. And then I thought about it.....Matt used a slang phrase accurately and just pulled it out of his hat.

Matt likes gift cards. I have a VISA gift card that belongs to Matt. I had to go online to check the amount then I told Matt how much he had on the card. An hour or later he asked me for the hundredth time if I would buy him some Aveeno shampoo. (I made the mistake of telling him that it is good for an itchy scalp and he has decided all those bottle of Head & Shoulders he had me buy have been replaced by another brand but I digress). He said "they are on sale at Rite Aid". So I asked him who was going to pay for them. And he responded - "you can use my VISA card". I think this took some analytic skill to piece all that together.

Am I the only one who thinks he is The Man!

DOES YOUR DAUGHTER HAVE DEMENTIA?

I was exasperated.....I get so annoyed with people these days. When the nurse somehow jumped from Dad's lack of appetite to her young daughter I had no patience. So I inquired whether her daughter too had dementia. I thought it was pretty obvious why I asked it. But she looked at me like I was an idiot. Then her eyes narrowed and she got a suspicious look and she reverted to "the book". It is all documented in the book on dementia. Fine, thanks.